Let Me Be Honest

I feel so blessed to be here! We had an amazing Bible Study last night with some of the people here. Michelle and Larry- Larry runs the farm and is Robs "boss", Michelle is the dietitian here and has become a great friend. Chad and Fadia are here working on their ministry which is film documentaries. They are filming some of what goes on here for the Wellness Program and Biblical Response Therapy program. Scott is an intern along with Rob. Each one of these people are inspiring for me. They have an honest desire to know God more and to truly live for Him. That is what I want too!

I have been thinking lately. I have had such a struggle with my relationship with God. The struggle is on my side because I know that God is right there waiting to give me a huge hug. I sometimes think that I have had a disadvantage growing up in the church. I feel so numbed to everything about it. Having heard things over and over growing up, yet not really ever understanding. Then I feel that I am so behind, how can I ever catch up to where I should be? If I haven't understood things in 30 years, how can I expect myself to understand them now?

The only thing I can do is to try. Over and over again... A big part of my problem is complacency. I have no problem wasting the days away. Sure, I have been getting up to spend 20-30 minutes reading and praying. But what about the hours I can so easily waste on the internet. Doing absolutely nothing? I have been comfortable in my humdrum life.

But...I have decided it is time to stop being complacent. If I truly want to love God and serve Him, I have got to change my life. Why would I pass on heaven? Just for the 'comforts' of this world? When I could be comforted by God Himself? Yesterday I read a verse that amazed me: ‎"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

God will wipe away my last tears. Amazing. No more pain or suffering or death after those last tears! WHY would I want to pass up on that? More importantly, WHY would I want my children to miss out on that because of my example to them? I want them to desire to be a child of Gods. 

It is going to be a selfish struggle, but I am going to live my life for God. Limit my time on the internet and doing pointless things. That is why I feel so blessed to be here. I have nature all around me, a farm to work in and keep me occupied, people longing to do Bible Studies, a wellness center I can learn some natural healing methods... The list goes on and on! 

Please pray for me and encourage me! Also let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Prayer, talking, whatever I can do. 

Irritability...Leave me alone!

We had a thunder storm on Friday morning that apparently blew sparks out of the wall in a unit beside us (the one that has our wireless internet connection) and fried the modem. So we have been without internet until now. It has been kind of nice, except that we missed all the whoop-de-doo about Judgement Day and the goings on of the disappointed. I feel bad for them. How would I feel if everything I believed to be true were false? Ouch...

We have also been without a phone. We used 1000 minutes in 3 weeks-ish and could use no more. So I was really feeling a little disconnected. But my phone is renewed (how fast can I go through them again...) and the internet is back up.

I have also been just a little irritable. I have been on a five day detox fast... We have meals here twice a day. 7:45 and 2. At these times I have been enjoying a green juice (consisting of various weeds(dandelion, red clover, alfalfa and wheat grass), lemon, garlic, ginger, apple, cabbage... Really whatever we have to throw in it. I fortunately have not been having to make it for myself. There is a wonderful woman here who is doing it all. Otherwise I would be eating my little heart out! The juice is pretty good. We (there is a group of us) also have a seed mixture to eat with a 'pesto'. Flax, sunflower, wheat germ and bran. The pesto is made from cilantro and has some other things in it. We mix those two things together and this is what I have been eating for the last 5 days... Rob was talking to a friend last night and telling him it's impossible to live with me. I am very irritable. Although he was kidding a little bit. But I am getting rid of toxins! Every meal has been a struggle. I have wanted to eat but I keep thinking, I have gone this far and the way I feel is the bad stuff coming out. So I have kept on. The next two days are going to be raw foods, example tomorrow morning we can have as much fruit as we want and she is making raw granola. I cannot wait to eat fruit! Hopefully my irritability will decrease! :)

I forget if there was anything else I was going to post. My mind is little preoccupied thinking about wonderful foods! Don't worry... I have been eating and am not starving. Really I am very full. Even after 10 hours! There is lots of fiber in this detox! But a variety of food would be splendid! 10 meals of the same thing gets very old!

I hope all is well with you who are reading this. Take one day at a time and remember that God loves you and that you are so special to Him.

Always Learning

We got our first round of mail here yesterday. We have been very short on funds, having left a job for an internship with $600/month income. I jokingly asked Rob if there was a random check for us. Turns out we had bills. And more bills. $700 worth. Plus the credit card with our insurance and such needed expenses to pay. Totaling almost $1000. Yikes! We thought we had paid it all off!

I was trying really hard to accept it and trying to think about how we can pay it all off and still eat. I was trying to depend on God. I know he has things under control, but I don't! When it comes to money (and money for food especially, because I LOVE to eat) it is really hard to put my trust anywhere. I was praying for God to help me trust Him.

So today during Rob's lunch break, he called 2 of the places for bills (medical and dental). Both places had a balance of $0!! Almost $400! So we have one more to call about. I am praying that it is lower than the stated amount. If not, I am ready to accept that. God will get us through it. He is still teaching me to trust. I think it is a lifelong lesson... I wish I could grasp some of His lessons easier! I am just very glad He is patient!

Meet the Predators!

I mean Presidents... Brody gets mixed up between three words for presidents: predators, principals and presidents. It makes me chuckle every time!

We went to Mountain Rushmore (another Brodyism) yesterday. It was a very nice day. Sunny but cool. I had 4 layers on to keep warm. Rob was working so it was just me and the kids. We went on the bus with the wellness guests again. When we got there, I took the kids on the Presidential Trail which goes down to the base of the faces. It was a trail with lots and lots of stairs of which I carried Jovie for over 250 of those. She went down them and it made her leg sore (from breaking it earlier this year) so I had to carry her up. Good work out! Of course I had to stop at every view and get a picture of the kids. They weren't very interested in smiling for the camera or even looking at the camera! I finally had to tell them to smile for a picture for Grandma Cheryl and Lady. That worked!

Here are some (well, a lot of)  pictures:

Here we entered the park and they are excited!

With the sculptor.

 Me and my Monkeys!

I love their faces in this one! My silly monkeys!

 In the Sculptor's Studio

 Checking out the wildlife. Brody said, "This is nature! It's SO cool!"

Jovie thinks we are going to leave her with the goats. :)

Climbing the steps...

The South Dakota Plains in the distance. Beautiful Day!

Part of the steps. Brody is up there, the girl is a new friend, Jolie.

My baggage I was carrying. :)

Tree up the nose!

They look so majestic!

I love this shot. The lighting, the tree in the bottom left, the nose...

Us and the Presidents.

My sillies again. :)

Brody loves caves!

This one had a great view!

"Mommy? Is this safe???" :) She was really checking out everyone else and not wanting to look at the camera.

Sweet little face of my 'big' boy.

It was a fun day! 

We've Survived a Week!

It started out beautiful and warm for our first couple days here. Then it turned cold. Very cold. A high of 43 one day and it has been raining as well. But we have survived! We have 2 little space heaters that have been an appreciated source of heat for us. On the rainy days, the kids and I have been inside doing school/inside play cuddled up next to the heater. Even as I write this, I have the heater pointed at me and it feels wonderful.

We had a beautiful thunder and lightening storm one night that Rob and I loved. The kids didn't like it so much. But we made it as fun as we could for them. Jovie started to appreciate it, but it may take Brody a couple more storms...

We went into Rapid City one day last week and as we were getting ready to leave there were deer on our front lawn!

I finally got our apartment settled and organized. Here are some pictures.

Out our front door.

This is the living room from the front door.

Our "kitchen" we don't use the microwave, only the fridge.

Living room from my bedroom door.

Our bedroom, desk/sink area and bathroom door.

Closet, door to living room.

Bed.

Kids room

Kids desk/sink area.

Kids closets. Doorway to hall.

Bathroom goes through to our room.

We are comfy, can't complain. We eat in the cafeteria and it has been very good. It's nice to eat in a place that is vegan. Brody can point at anything he wants and can have it! I don't have to worry about cooking or cleaning up afterwards, which would be hard, you saw the sink I would have to wash dishes in in my bedroom... We do have our blender to make smoothies and we will stock up on fruit.

It snowed yesterday. Very tiny snowflakes that didn't make it to the ground, but there were flurries. That was kind of neat, except that it is May... And I didn't bring many warm clothes for us. Mom, you would have shuddered at what I wore to church yesterday. :) It was so cold, another day with a high in the mid forties and windy. So, with that said, I wore a dress, but with two pairs of pants underneath, socks and tennis shoes, a long sleeve shirt underneath the dress and a jacket. :) I just wanted to be warm. And the kids and I came home after Sabbath School to take a nap. So not many people saw me. Rob saw me and just laughed. :) I should have taken a picture!

Rob did get my camera working again! We took it on our trip yesterday into Custer State Park. We went on the bus with the Wellness guests and had narration and facts throughout. We saw lots of buffalo. Supposedly we were to see lots of donkeys and get to feed them, but we only saw one with a baby and she didn't want to be around people. Of course, Brody and Jovie absolutely loved seeing the animals, riding in the bus with no car seats, and being around people who think everything they say is the best thing in the world!

 Brody and Rob enjoying the bus ride.

 Brody and the Buffalo

 Jovie with the Buffalo and sad Turkey

 Jovie admiring the size of the Elk

 Mr. Buffalo scratching himself on the rock.

 Oooh! That feels so good!

 Losing his winter coat.

 Snack time!

 Can you imagine the whole field covered with them? I thought this was a lot...

 Pronghorn male

 Having fun?

 Mama Donkey with her baby.

The babys legs were just about as long as the moms!

So we have had a good time. Rob is working long hours on the farm and learning lots. Today he is out with a man from South Africa working on the grapevines. The grapevines need some TLC and Rob is learning how to care for them. Maybe one day we will have grapes! He has seeded lots of starts and the "boss" Larry is pretty happy with where they are, just about caught up. It has been cold so the season is getting a late start. The kids and I are welcome out there to "help" where we can. I am thinking we will wait until it warms up a bit. We went out on Friday and it was COLD! The sun felt great but the wind was chilly!

So, I had better go do something to entertain my kids. They are running around crazy like. We have someone living underneath us, so we are trying to teach them to be respectful. But it very hard for them to remember that. I am thinking it is naptime. Then lunch, then we may go on another trip with the wellness guests to Mt. Rushmore. We can always keep busy here!

I hope you have a wonderful day and remember to spend some time with God. Notice Him in the things outside!

A Few Photos

Here are some pictures of the days leading up to our departure and some of Jovie and me on our hike.

Our last night in the apartment Brody slid completely off the mattress.

And was under his pillow!

Brody holding a snake at his cousin Matthew's.

It was a big deal for him because he likes snakes... from a distance!

Jovie getting ready for the trip. I love the pigtails!

Brody driving Great Papa Gene's sweet ride!

Great Papa Gene taking Brody for a ride in his other sweet ride!

Jovie loving the wind in her face!

Our front yard!

Our front door, #6.

Jovie ready for our hike and keeping the baby warm.

I had told Jovie that we need to keep rocks off the road, so here she is picking up pebbles off the road and putting them to the side. So sweet!

My beautiful girl!

Jovie leading the way!

She still has the baby in her shirt, that is why her shirt looks so small...

Feeling pokeys and being silly!

Taking a photo break.

What is a step for mom, is a climb for Jovie!

Letting the baby enjoy the view.

Part of the view. We didn't make it to the top, but it was still very nice!

More pokeys!

Me and my silly girl!